She waited for him..pulse racing..heart pounding..she waited patiently..with a knife in her hand. He always stopped by the bar on his way home..took his time getting soaked..but he would be home soon..then all hell would break loose..as usual..only this time would be the last time. Somebody will have to die tonight..She tightened her grasp on the handle of the knife as she heard the sound of his car's engine along the driveway..
Funny though..she used to wait for him at the door eagerly..with a smile and a hug..sometimes, with nothing on except her nightgown and a rose between her teeth..but that was a long time ago..before the children came..before that awful incident that changed everything.
They had always wanted to go on a family vacation but never actually got around to it due to their busy work schedules. So when they heard of a family retreat being organized by a popular travel agency at a very modest fee, they grabbed the offer. Nobody could have forseen the boat mishap that occurred in the middle of the lake..the weather seemed so calm and serene..they never saw the storm coming..the wave that did their boat in and scattered them across the lake. Somehow, by a twist of fate, she and her husband survived..but their kids were not so fortunate.
So they returned to an empty house filled with what used to be happy memories. Their grief was a shared feeling and ought to have brought them closer so each could draw comfort from the other..but there was another feeling that grew with each passing day..It was guilt! Guilt that they had survived but their children perished..a feeling of shame mixed with self-reproach..Survivor's Guilt!
People deal with the feeling of guilt in different ways. Some live in denial choosing to bury themselves in activity..any activity..That was the path she chose..others react in anger which quickly finds a channel to express itself..That was her husband's choice. He saw her as a daily reminder of his failure to save his family..she was his guilt personified..and to quiet the voice of accusation in his mind, he beat her daily into submission..That was how he dealt with Survivor's Guilt..
Well, tonight..He would face a monster of his own creation..the sum total of all his fears..after tonight,there would no more survivors..no more guilty ones..they would all be casualties..
How about you,my friend? Are you dealing with Survivor's Guilt in one form or the other? Do you come running everytime your Ex is in trouble? I mean..You know that relationship was poison but ever so often u go sniffing around old fires. You broke that addiction but ermh..sometimes, you feel obligated to check up on your company of Ex-fellow addicts. Are you really free? Or are you suffering from Survivor's Guilt?
Think about it
@DaBoomsha
P.S
If you would like to know more about dealing with Survivor's Guilt or share your experience along those lines, do send us a mail: boomsha@gmail.com
We would love to hear from you
Funny though..she used to wait for him at the door eagerly..with a smile and a hug..sometimes, with nothing on except her nightgown and a rose between her teeth..but that was a long time ago..before the children came..before that awful incident that changed everything.
They had always wanted to go on a family vacation but never actually got around to it due to their busy work schedules. So when they heard of a family retreat being organized by a popular travel agency at a very modest fee, they grabbed the offer. Nobody could have forseen the boat mishap that occurred in the middle of the lake..the weather seemed so calm and serene..they never saw the storm coming..the wave that did their boat in and scattered them across the lake. Somehow, by a twist of fate, she and her husband survived..but their kids were not so fortunate.
So they returned to an empty house filled with what used to be happy memories. Their grief was a shared feeling and ought to have brought them closer so each could draw comfort from the other..but there was another feeling that grew with each passing day..It was guilt! Guilt that they had survived but their children perished..a feeling of shame mixed with self-reproach..Survivor's Guilt!
People deal with the feeling of guilt in different ways. Some live in denial choosing to bury themselves in activity..any activity..That was the path she chose..others react in anger which quickly finds a channel to express itself..That was her husband's choice. He saw her as a daily reminder of his failure to save his family..she was his guilt personified..and to quiet the voice of accusation in his mind, he beat her daily into submission..That was how he dealt with Survivor's Guilt..
Well, tonight..He would face a monster of his own creation..the sum total of all his fears..after tonight,there would no more survivors..no more guilty ones..they would all be casualties..
How about you,my friend? Are you dealing with Survivor's Guilt in one form or the other? Do you come running everytime your Ex is in trouble? I mean..You know that relationship was poison but ever so often u go sniffing around old fires. You broke that addiction but ermh..sometimes, you feel obligated to check up on your company of Ex-fellow addicts. Are you really free? Or are you suffering from Survivor's Guilt?
Think about it
@DaBoomsha
P.S
If you would like to know more about dealing with Survivor's Guilt or share your experience along those lines, do send us a mail: boomsha@gmail.com
We would love to hear from you
GREAT MAHN
ReplyDelete