I
cudnt believe what I had just heard..I turned in shock †o look at
her.."Seriously...I hate my father" she repeated..smiling at my
surprised expression.."Dnt worry" she reassured me "you aяε not like
him" Then she launched into a tirade about her father's many sins and
shortcomings..I listened intently, filling in the gaps in her story and
picking up the undercurrents of hatred,contempt and bitterness she had
harboured so long against the first man in her life..
After our conversation,I took a walk downtown..and down memory lane..u see,I have met quite a number of angry black women in my lifetime..young women wt an axe †o grind..bitter women..women wt a disappointment as a father or no father at all..raised by single mothers..angry daughters raised by angry mothers..a vicious circle..
There was Ms K..she had a turbulent childhood..torn between separated parents..she chose †o live wt her dad..until he kicked her out †o make his new wife comfortable in her new home..left his daughter moving from a one friend's house †o another..living like a refugee..fighting athsma as well as hatred for her father..searching for a father figure but scared of commitment..she broke many hearts in the process..mine inclusive..
Then there was Ms A..all she wanted was a little attention from daddy..he was never around ,u see..her mum practically fended for the family..but he was her idol..dying of neglect,she wud hve done anything †o win his approval..she grew up the day she discovered her sweet daddy had used the money that had been kept †o purchase her JAMB form †o procure a cheap abortion for his mistress..
How about Ms T?,she had a father all right..but all he ever did was father her..the epitome of irresponsibility..she had a petname for him "That fool! "..yes,that was her best description for the first man in her life..
I could go on and tell u about Ms J..daughter of a divorced clergyman..he did the best he could materially for her but left her feeling emotionally short-changed..she cud never quite forgive him for breaking up the family..she wud punish him by denying him time with her and when she wud visit,she wudnt say a word †o him for days..such vendetta!
I knw many more of such women..angry women..attractive,intelligent..but damaged..I've listened †o them talk and had some of them confide in me..(*wink*..one of the fringe benefits of being a good listener)..these women do desire a different future for themselves..good husbands and blissful marriages..but they struggle in relationships..
*Sigh*
Its the baggage,my dear..the hurt,the pain,the betrayal..yes..and the
anger..Daddy was a rascal..no doubt..but there aяε still some fine young
men out there..who would respect and love u..and bε a good father †o
your own kids..its time †o heal yourself..forgive the old man..and move
on..dnt make another man do time for your father's crimes..let go of the
baggage,sister..
After our conversation,I took a walk downtown..and down memory lane..u see,I have met quite a number of angry black women in my lifetime..young women wt an axe †o grind..bitter women..women wt a disappointment as a father or no father at all..raised by single mothers..angry daughters raised by angry mothers..a vicious circle..
There was Ms K..she had a turbulent childhood..torn between separated parents..she chose †o live wt her dad..until he kicked her out †o make his new wife comfortable in her new home..left his daughter moving from a one friend's house †o another..living like a refugee..fighting athsma as well as hatred for her father..searching for a father figure but scared of commitment..she broke many hearts in the process..mine inclusive..
Then there was Ms A..all she wanted was a little attention from daddy..he was never around ,u see..her mum practically fended for the family..but he was her idol..dying of neglect,she wud hve done anything †o win his approval..she grew up the day she discovered her sweet daddy had used the money that had been kept †o purchase her JAMB form †o procure a cheap abortion for his mistress..
How about Ms T?,she had a father all right..but all he ever did was father her..the epitome of irresponsibility..she had a petname for him "That fool! "..yes,that was her best description for the first man in her life..
I could go on and tell u about Ms J..daughter of a divorced clergyman..he did the best he could materially for her but left her feeling emotionally short-changed..she cud never quite forgive him for breaking up the family..she wud punish him by denying him time with her and when she wud visit,she wudnt say a word †o him for days..such vendetta!
I knw many more of such women..angry women..attractive,intelligent..but damaged..I've listened †o them talk and had some of them confide in me..(*wink*..one of the fringe benefits of being a good listener)..these women do desire a different future for themselves..good husbands and blissful marriages..but they struggle in relationships..
