The Pedo - Files : Vanessa

They say its the one U luv the most that breaks your heart..Have U ever felt that ache when someone Uve nurtured and poured yourself into over time grows away from U due †o distance and the passage of time?..I have..

I love children..I find their candid innocence quite refreshing from the devious life of adult-hood..in some sorta way,I have remained a child myself..yea..and happily so..now back †o the subject..every once-in-a-while,a particular kid tugs at М̣̇Ɣ heart-strings and I feel drawn †o be a part of his or her formative process..in whatever capacity I can..I just wanna be there for that kid..

Take Vanessa for example..she was special..I remember catching a glimpse of her fuzzy head for the first time during sunday school in church..quiet..withdrawn..watchful..she wrapped her little fingers around my heart-strings and yanked hard on them..she had me..I knew I wanted †o be a part of her life..I gave her one of those goofy smiles we adults ℓike †o inflict on children and was rewarded with a look of suspicion..I knew I had М̣̇Ɣ work cut out for me..

But I did get †o know her..and as time passed,she accepted me as part of her world..I remember her telling me of her decision †o join the Teens church..I beamed ℓike a proud dad who's son just made college..М̣̇Ɣ joy was complete when she indicated interest in rap music..At last,I had a successor!..you see,I was about moving †o a new place far away and would have †o leave the church..somebody had †o fill the void I wud leave behind..or so I thought..

Vanessa didn't take М̣̇Ɣ departure well,I'm afraid..in her quiet way,she made me know she wasn't happy about it..but I had †o move..and so I did..we tried keepin in touch but after a while that fizzled out..I guess she must have felt betrayed..I don't know..it was hard not being there anymore †o guide her through the troubled phase of being a teenager..but I had no choice

One day,I paid a visit †o my old church..and inquired after her..I was told she had moved †o another church..so I went over †o her house..and there she was..М̇y Rugrat..М̣̇Ɣ baby..now in the full bloom of adolescence..tall..gawky..self-concious..but the look she gave me was detached..blank..I had become a stranger..no longer relevant in her world..the conversation was brief and painful..I left the house..heart-broken..she had grown up..and grown away from me..Vanessa..